Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to people, I'd say BOO!
You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she hates it too!
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.
Have you been shopping lately?...They are selling lives at the mall...you should get one
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Awsome insults
Friday, November 28, 2008
omg
OMG!!! mi hamster pepper is still alive!!!! i cant feed him cuz hes sleeping in his food dish. you can see him breathing though. im soooo happy! i no he wont live tomorrow though. hes curled up in a ball, it looks like a fuzzy wrinkly ball! its so funny. the most funny thing is hes sleeping on his manly parts. hes using them as a pillow!!!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Meme
i was tagged with a meme. i forgot about it so ill post now
- i have a summer home in Ohio
- most ppl annoy me i just never tell them *sam*
- im just cooler than you
Pepper
he's dying. He's sitting in his food dish and his head is under his water bottle. he keeps falling over, sitting up, then falling over again. he wont open his eyes. i cant belive hes gonnna die on thanksgiving! its souppsed to be a happy holiday! mi cousin are over and there playing games with mi sister and mi dad and uncle are watchin tv. mi mom and mi aunt are talking and im typing. mi mom sayes hes fine but i know hes not. i fell like crying. ill miss him. he used to be mi cubby fur ball, now hes mi cubby wrinkly fuzzy ball. i have nothing to do so i just browse the internet. blah this suks
more funny jokes
New Inventions by Blondes:
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat
Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa ? Well, thanks a lot, Mom Africans are still starving and American kids are obese
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me beautiful,
What happened to you?
If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
Mi friends
Mi friends r the kind of people
that called me to get my phone number
spend 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box bcuz it said "concentrate"
put lipstick on there forehead bcuz she wanted to makeup her mind
tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
sent me a fax with a stamp on it
tried to drown a fish
thought a quarterback was a refund
got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
tripped over a cordless phone
took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
and studied for a blood test! lol
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
funny insults
Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over.
If ignorance if bliss, why aren't you happy?
Ok...if you thought I would actually stick around to talk to you, you're not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are you?
If I throw a stick, will you go fetch?
Sometimes, I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you
1... 2... 3... Darn. I was sure that if I closed my eyes and counted to 3, you'd be gone.
Why would i want to talk to you? I can talk to a wall and it would be much more interesting the you!
funny jokes
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"
Let the fact be stated that i am scared of whales. I just posted this cuz its funny
There once was a bear& a rabbit that hated each other. One day they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each 3 wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the U.S. and all the rest were female." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go w/ that helmet." And he got his wish.
The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.
Then It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is loser cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
go back to the top and read the 3rd word of each line.
Some ?s to ponder while I am away....
Why can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
I will leave you to ponder...
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 51. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay there
Respects, including Mrs. Butter worth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was
Filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
Elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes
Homework: (Noun) a punishment given to students by evil teachers after the students have already put in 7 hours of hard labor. (See evil, torture, wrong, cruel, unjust, satan, crap)
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled
down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem,
Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am
pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations.
What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that
drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman,
"Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk
and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get
far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled
voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
Once there was a man moving to Florida from Illinois. His wife would meet him there the next day. He sent her an e-mail but speeled the address wrong and ended up going to an old lady whos husband recently had passed away. The lady read the message and after fell on the floor dead. The message read
Dearest Wife,
I just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Pepper
My hamster is REALLY old and hes not going to live through the week. He has lots of cuts and a tumor on his back. So im posing pic to make me feel better.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
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