Awsome insults

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to people, I'd say BOO!

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she hates it too!

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.

Have you been shopping lately?...They are selling lives at the mall...you should get one

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

how cool is that?!?!?!?

omg

OMG!!! mi hamster pepper is still alive!!!! i cant feed him cuz hes sleeping in his food dish. you can see him breathing though. im soooo happy! i no he wont live tomorrow though. hes curled up in a ball, it looks like a fuzzy wrinkly ball! its so funny. the most funny thing is hes sleeping on his manly parts. hes using them as a pillow!!!

Meme

i was tagged with a meme. i forgot about it so ill post now

1. i have a summer home in Ohio
   
2. most ppl annoy me i just never tell them *sam*
3. im just cooler than you
   

Pepper

he's dying. He's sitting in his food dish and his head is under his water bottle. he keeps falling over, sitting up, then falling over again. he wont open his eyes. i cant belive hes gonnna die on thanksgiving! its souppsed to be a happy holiday! mi cousin are over and there playing games with mi sister and mi dad and uncle are watchin tv. mi mom and mi aunt are talking and im typing. mi mom sayes hes fine but i know hes not. i fell like crying. ill miss him. he used to be mi cubby fur ball, now hes mi cubby wrinkly fuzzy ball. i have nothing to do so i just browse the internet. blah this suks

more funny jokes

New Inventions by Blondes:

The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat


Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa ? Well, thanks a lot, Mom Africans are still starving and American kids are obese


They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.


Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me beautiful,
What happened to you?


If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?

Mi friends

Mi friends r the kind of people

that called me to get my phone number
spend 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box bcuz it said "concentrate"
put lipstick on there forehead bcuz she wanted to makeup her mind
tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
sent me a fax with a stamp on it
tried to drown a fish
thought a quarterback was a refund
got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
tripped over a cordless phone
took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
and studied for a blood test! lol